My Mental Health - Antidotes to Anxiety
I post this with some trepidation. The topic of mental health is very personal, of course. But sharing what works for one can inspire and support others. My routine will look different than yours - everyone’s journey is unique.
As you navigate your day to day life, you are not in control of what happens around you. So why worry? Spending mental energy on things outside of your control is wasteful and unproductive. I had a Philosophy professor who focused on the American Pragmatists, and I may have skipped some of the readings, but I absorbed the simple rubric of measuring things by their outcome. What purpose does this serve? The value of anything is determined by the result. So, if something leads to an undesired result, what should you do? Change course. Good and evil can be a more nuanced discussion if you enjoy spending time pontificating, but when it comes to applying philosophy to life, I’ve found this to be the most helpful.
Changing course can look like different things.
There are:
actions we can take (or actively choose not to take), and how we think and feel.
That’s it. The only two things we can control, so they only two things we should worry about. Putting your focus on the first can lead to changes in the second.
If your goal is to achieve this nonchalant acceptance of what you can control and what you should worry about, how do you get there?
I like these two tools.
Self talk
When I was fresh out of college, I got recruited into a door-to-door book-selling company. It was the summer that set my life on its course - nothing before or after had such a significant effect on my mental health. The inflection point that differentiated my self-pitying, depressed, world-is-against-me, outsider persona was flipped on its sad head, turning me into an in-control, positive achiever who could accomplish goals. Of course this took time, nothing happens overnight, but I can pinpoint the causes and effects of this monumentous personality change. We entered the crucible of intense training in a short time with a specific, intended outcome: to turn college students into resilient door-knockers. No one can say no to a smiling idiot. Turns out, some can, but the point was that after knocking on hundreds of doors a week, a small percentage would say yes, and buy your wares. That small percentage is all that mattered. So ignore the “no’s,” because when you get through enough of them, statistically, you’re going to find the “yes’s.” Now, to a people-pleasing, sensitive wall-flower, a “no” is a painful wound. And if I hadn’t entered this crucible, I don’t know how I would have found myself on the other side. For 80-plus hours a week, I threw my fragile ego against the rock hard wall of these “no’s,” and came through a new person. The training that carried me through was simple, self talk. It’s as easy and as dumb as it sounds. You talk (out loud, or it doesn’t work) to yourself constantly, using the most over the top, positive slop. “I am a fantastically beautiful and smart dude, I can knock on five more doors before the next hour is up.” That’s half the formula. The other half is praising yourself for each small win. You start in the morning by completing a predetermined set of small wins. That’s the second tool.
Rituals
Morning routines fulfill two purposes. They stack the initial part of the day, when your attitude is most malleable but also most vulnerable, with undeniable positivities. We followed a preset routine, but the formula works as well when you create your own personal routine. Combining activities that prime your mental and physical body are key. Ours went like this:
6am
Wake up to Eye of the Tiger (the same, wonderful song woke us up each morning, our ears were very attuned to that first note, and jumping out of bed to save yourself from listening to the whole song is part of the reason it works.)
6am
Literally roll from the bed to the floor and begin push-ups and crunches. Do not let any time elapse from the alarm waking you to this workout routine. Build in the muscle memory to be rock solid so your nagging mind cannot introduce the tiniest crack in your resolve.
6:05am
Cold shower
6:10am
Same breakfast everyday - don’t waste mental energy deciding each morning.
6:15am
Executive Exercises. These are stupid stretches and songs you sing in a group. I don’t know the science behind their efficacy, but when you’re in a cult-like sales team, you go along. And they worked. It taught me to take myself a lot less seriously. If your ego can handle a little light-hearted ridiculousness, it’s more resilient in the face of rougher winds.
6:20am
Pack and go out the door. Listen to motivational speakers on your commute. You’ve just checked off at least six quick wins by completing your morning routine, congratulations!
My routine in my forties is not quite like this. But I’ve carried with me the habit building resolve and strength to stack up those wins before starting my day, and it formulates the mentality I need to be positive and proactive throughout the demands of the day.
If you’re interested in a longer, well written (and better supported by the author’s research) article on this topic, I highly recommend reading this from Moretothat.com.
Mental health is a journey in your head, and acted out by your body. For me, moving my body (focusing on the actions in my control) fixes my head (reduces the worrying over things I cannot control).